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Doctor Drosophila (Parts 1, 2, & 3)

from Plantastic Voyage by Kenny Young and the Eggplants

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    This album went to # 1 in several parallel universes. In this universe, it went to # 1 at WDCV in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. It also rocketed to #1 in Detroit on Phil Maq's THEME ATTIC show on WHFR. And it won Philby Awards at WHFR for Best Intergalactic Album, Best Pop/Rock Comedy Album, and Best Animated Cover.

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lyrics

"Doctor Drosophila (Parts 1, 2 & 3)"

She is a microbiologist
She is very small
Her name is Doctor Drosophila
but she doesn't study fruit flies at all

She studies the chromosomes
of garden gnomes
The Gnome Genome Project, as it's known
Day after day she unravels DNA
with passion and precision

Her husband is a microchip maker
He makes them out of very small potatoes
They live in a renovated petri dish
They like the culture there

As they walk their pet amoeba Sheba to the minimart
The doctor discusses her work
She's feeling keen; she's isolated the gene
for horticultural proficiencies

But then the next day, her telephone rings
It's the president of the United States
He says, "Hello, hello, Doctor Drosophila
Your country needs your particular attributes
You see the space program has had its budget slashed
and our mission to Mars is in jeopardy
Now we can afford only a tiny rocket ship
Luckily NASA has a tiny pilot
But we need a brilliant scientist
Who can fit inside our custom-made spacesuit
Somebody with impeccable credentials
to carry out essential experiments
Oh dearest doctor they're ready at the launch pad
We need your answer … now

Orbiting the red planet
she reads what the mission's all about
There's a colony of gnomes on Mars
and the government wants to check them out

If they say okay, and let the doctor test their DNA
She'll find if they're a match with earthly gnomes
Even she is stunned by the implications
of the work she is about to do

She assembles a space lab
as the Martian Gnome Genome Project proceeds
Her entire family is relocated there
(at their own expense of course)

Her husband is aware
potatoes can grow nearly anywhere
He'll plant a crop with Sheba by his side
It's not what they dreamed, but happiness it seems is
embracing life's vicissitudes

(c) 2017 Kenny Young

credits

from Plantastic Voyage, released May 2, 2021

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Kenny Young and the Eggplants Brooklyn, New York

Kenny Young and the Eggplants play intergalactic folk-and-roll songs about giant squirrels, scary bits of cheese, and malevolent washing machines. The New York Times said they give “eloquent voice to the multifaceted neuroses of prolonged adolescence.” The Sunday Herald said they “mix the wit of Jonathan Richman with the sound of the Nico-era Velvets to create a surreal and satirical gumbo.” ... more

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