1. |
Monster Hit Record
03:31
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"Monster Hit Record"
So I said to the barkeep,
“Please give me back my money.
This has not been a happy hour at all.
I fear your beer is insincere
and it does not cheer me.”
She said, “Perhaps you would prefer
something undomesticated”
and she poured out something green
with pink and purple bits.
Its bouquet was rank. It tasted gank.
But I drank it nonetheless.
And then
I felt my body changing.
What was happening to me?
Me - ta - mor - pho - sis
Yes, I had become some kind of orange monster
with bulgy eyes and one giant eyebrow.
I said to the barkeep, "What the heck?”
And she said, "Oops, wrong bottle."
Since then, my life has improved dramatically.
I found a rent-stabilized apartment
with twenty-five-foot-high ceilings.
I have a new job and I don't have to wear a tie.
I can get my fangs whitened
and it's covered under my dental plan.
At lunch, street vendors give me all the sauerkraut I can eat.
After work, I have my own lane at the bowling alley.
It is difficult finding shoes.
Yeah, New York is a good place for an orange monster.
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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2. |
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"The Check Has Arrived (TV Sitcom Theme Song)"
The check has arri - i - ived
The check has arri- i - ived
I believe you'll be relieved
when I’ve relayed that I've been paid
The check has arri- i -ived
We can buy the Mona Lisa
Get extra toppings on our pizza
You can study Socrates
while I swing from a trapeze
We can cycle to Belize
to adopt that llama named Louise
The check has arri - i – ived!
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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3. |
Revved Up and Restless
01:20
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"Revved Up and Restless"
Revved up and restless
I am staring out at the street life
The city's beckoning
Let's do something tonight
Potential energy overload
If I don't get kinetic, I might explode
Revved up and restless
I am prepped and ready to take flight
The city's calling out
Let's do something tonight
Well there's nothing on the TV
There's nothing on the Net for me
There's not a game invented
that can give me what I need
Too wound up; can't power down
Come on, let's go
Let's see this town
Revved up and restless
If we get lost then we've done it right
The city's beckoning
Let's do something tonight
Revved up and restless
There's no telling what's waiting outside
The city's calling out
Let's do something tonight
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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4. |
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"Plantastic Voyage (TV Theme Song)"
If you are looking for love
why restrict yourself to Planet Earth?
Come on a cruise to outer space
A nearly infinite romantic place
Plantastic Voyage
In the lounge there's a psychic pop band called the Eggplants
From across the universe fans seek their love advice
You may think they're leading you astray
But it all works out in some wacky way
Plantastic Voyage
If you're looking for love . . .
If you're looking for love . . .
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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5. |
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"Doctor Drosophila (Parts 1, 2 & 3)"
She is a microbiologist
She is very small
Her name is Doctor Drosophila
but she doesn't study fruit flies at all
She studies the chromosomes
of garden gnomes
The Gnome Genome Project, as it's known
Day after day she unravels DNA
with passion and precision
Her husband is a microchip maker
He makes them out of very small potatoes
They live in a renovated petri dish
They like the culture there
As they walk their pet amoeba Sheba to the minimart
The doctor discusses her work
She's feeling keen; she's isolated the gene
for horticultural proficiencies
But then the next day, her telephone rings
It's the president of the United States
He says, "Hello, hello, Doctor Drosophila
Your country needs your particular attributes
You see the space program has had its budget slashed
and our mission to Mars is in jeopardy
Now we can afford only a tiny rocket ship
Luckily NASA has a tiny pilot
But we need a brilliant scientist
Who can fit inside our custom-made spacesuit
Somebody with impeccable credentials
to carry out essential experiments
Oh dearest doctor they're ready at the launch pad
We need your answer … now
Orbiting the red planet
she reads what the mission's all about
There's a colony of gnomes on Mars
and the government wants to check them out
If they say okay, and let the doctor test their DNA
She'll find if they're a match with earthly gnomes
Even she is stunned by the implications
of the work she is about to do
She assembles a space lab
as the Martian Gnome Genome Project proceeds
Her entire family is relocated there
(at their own expense of course)
Her husband is aware
potatoes can grow nearly anywhere
He'll plant a crop with Sheba by his side
It's not what they dreamed, but happiness it seems is
embracing life's vicissitudes
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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6. |
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"Your Life Will Change By Christmas"
Pardon me
Don't mean to be rude but I overheard
you telling your friends that
you're concerned about your future
Well, you don't know me, but I'm here to say
Your life will change by Christmas
All new and strange by next Christmas
And you'll be in love
How do I know?
I've got what you might call a time machine
and I've seen a few things
I can't give you any details
Trust me, you'll be in a different state
Your life will change by Christmas
All new and strange by next Christmas
And you'll be in love
And now I'll go
but we will meet again and
then you'll know I'm not really insane
Hold on just a little longer
Reality will surpass your dreams
Your life will change by Christmas
All new and strange by next Christmas
And you'll be in love
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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7. |
Carmelita
03:09
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8. |
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"Ruff Justice (High-Concept TV Sitcom Theme Song)"
The president drank a little moonshine
and he temporarily could not think straight
He nominated his dog to the Supreme Court
and his public approval rating began to elevate
The senators could not object
for fear of appearing anti-canine
So now there is a dog on the highest court of the land
And the country is doing just fine
'Cause we've got
Ruff justice in the USA
Ruff ruff justice in the USA
Ruff justice in the USA
Ruff ruff justice in the USA
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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9. |
Flies
02:28
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"Flies"
She said
There's a fly in the ointment
She said
There's a fly in my soup
Flies, flies, flies
She keeps telling me flies
Flies, flies
She keeps telling me flies
She said
There's a fly in my souffle
She said
Shoo souffle fly
Flies, flies, flies
She keeps telling me flies
Flies, flies
She keeps telling me flies
She said
There's a fly in the basement
She said
I wish he'd turn his stereo down
Flies, flies, flies
She keeps telling me flies
Flies, flies
She keeps telling me flies
Flies, flies
She keeps telling me flies
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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10. |
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"Prelude"
Fly away with me
up into the stars
Other worlds await us
Beautiful, mysterious
Fly away with me
Tonight
Tell me all the galaxies you want to see
and we'll go
Fire up the spaceship and then we'll be free
On our own
Adventuring endlessly
Fly away with me
Tonight
"Love Conquers the Universe"
As we’re blasting through the stars
eating takeout food
there's a message in a cookie
that changes the mood
It says, "Love Conquers the Universe Today"
We encounter alien wars
everywhere we land
We show our message to the leaders
Now they understand
that Love Conquers the Universe Today
Millions of blinking eyes on stalks
turn to us when we speak
And deadly ray guns gently
fall from weary tentacles
Looking out the porthole glass
burning bright and clear
it's a heart-shaped constellation
so that's where we steer
Suddenly battleships arrive
They'll try to make us go
But you and I will be triumphant
because as you know
Love Conquers the Universe Today
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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11. |
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"Psychopath on the Cycle Path"
There's a psychopath
on the cycle path
Created by a diabolical genius
Disdainful of the rules of the road
It's a horrible hybrid
Half-bicycle, half-man
It's like a sinister, six-speed centaur
There's a psychopath
on the cycle path
Cyborg psychopath
on the cycle path
He never obeys traffic signals
He just focuses ahead with his one bloodshot eye
He has a volatile temper
a disregard for human life and
a total lack of depth perception
Look out!
There's a cyclops cyborg psychopath
on the cycle path
Cyclops cyborg psychopath
on the cycle path
Ring-a-ding goes his little bell
as he runs down tourists on the Brooklyn Bridge
He is determined to make it to Coney Island
Gonna ride that roller coaster somehow
There's a Cyclone-seeking cyclops cyborg psychopath
on the cycle path
Cyclone-seeking cyclops cyborg psychopath
on the cycle path
There's a psychopath
on the cycle path
(c) 2017 Kenny Young
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12. |
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Kenny Young and the Eggplants Brooklyn, New York
Kenny Young and the Eggplants play intergalactic folk-and-roll songs about giant squirrels, scary bits of cheese, and malevolent washing machines. The New York Times said they give “eloquent voice to the multifaceted neuroses of prolonged adolescence.” The Sunday Herald said they “mix the wit of Jonathan Richman with the sound of the Nico-era Velvets to create a surreal and satirical gumbo.” ... more
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